Have you ever felt that you are not good enough for your role? I have.

I am a fitness instructor and I used to feel like I am a fraud. I am 1.63m with a weight of 54kg. I have a BMI of around 20 and that should be considered healthy.

But the truth is I’m skinny fat.

I am slim but I have muffin tops. Basically, I am flabby. And truth be told, when it comes to skinny for Asian, I am no where near that. I look into the mirror and I feel unconvincing. I did not suffer from body image issues but I believe I could be better. At the same time, my fitness career is going nowhere. Classes come and go. My financial and work life is a wreck.

Luckily, the practice of yoga teaches me how to love and appreciate myself for who I am and for where I am at. I know I have to look forward and ignite the change necessary for me to become who I want to be.

And weight lifting comes into my life.

Weight lifting knocks on my heart almost like how yoga comes into my life as an epiphany. I have faith in the calling of my heart. So far, it hasn’t failed me. It has always shown me the direction that I need to be.

Initially, I got my friend to show me the ropes. Soon after, I find myself reading articles and books on weightlifting until I am confident enough to step into the gym alone. Today, I step in the gym with my own exercise plan. I lift the weights with a vision.

Throughout my journey, I build up muscles and tone my body. And most importantly, I see the way I handle my business transform as well.

I use to be passive, waiting for people to contact me for business. I used to share my services like I am not fully confident of it. Now, I’m actively networking and creating meaningful relationship. I am seeking out mentorship and surrounding myself with successful and wise people. I speak of my business with faith and conviction. Most importantly, I know my services are of high value and it could transform people.

Because I have been through the transformation myself.

It is the exhilaration that I feel when I lift 40kg off the floor. It’s the feeling that I got when I lift more than I did previously. It’s the focus that I need to lift in proper form. It’s the correction of my posture that gives me confidence.

Today, I stand in front of students, friends and strangers, knowing fully that I am good enough. Knowing that I understand different muscles groups and how they function. Knowing that I could guide a class safely and effectively. Knowing that my services work.

Weight lifting saves my life.

Weight lifting also reminds me that I could push pass my own mental limits and create records for myself. It shows me that progress comes with careful planning. At the same time, it shows me that I have to drop my ego in front of the weights, if not I will risk injuring myself.

In yoga, I am taught that our physical world is intricately linked to our internal world. How we do one thing is how we do everything. Through the internal workings, weight lifting brings upon to me a new world and possibilities.

It breaks the old me down.

A new me is created and strengthened.

In my life, I appreciate coming into contact with yoga and weightlifting. It challenges my perspective and allows me to learn more about life and myself.

Today, I am at peace. Today, I am who I need to be.